The status of the family in Islam.

Before we find out about the role of Islam in organizing and
protecting the family, we should first find out what the situation of the
family was before Islam, and what it is in the west in modern times.



Before Islam, the family was based on mistreatment and
oppression. All affairs were controlled only by men or in other words, the
males, and women and girls were oppressed and humiliated. An example of that
is that if a man died and left behind a wife, his son by another wife had
the right to marry her and control her life, or to prevent her from getting
married. Men were the only ones who could inherit; women and children had no
share. They viewed women, whether they were mothers, daughters or sisters,
as a source of shame, because they could be taken as prisoners, thus
bringing shame upon the family. Hence a man would bury his infant daughter
alive, as is referred to in the Qur’aan, where Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):



“And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is
brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward
grief!



He hides himself from the people because of the evil of
that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonour or bury
her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision”



[al-Nahl 16:58]



The family in the broader sense, i.e., the tribe, was based
on supporting one another in all things, even in wrongdoing.


When Islam came, it did
away with all that and established justice, giving each person his or her
rights, even nursing infants, and even the miscarried foetus who was to be
respected and prayed for (i.e., given a proper funeral).



When you examine the family in the west today you will find
that families are disintegrating and the parents cannot control their
children, whether intellectually or morally. The son has the right to go
wherever he wants and do whatever he wants; the daughter has the right to
sit with whoever she wants and sleep with whoever she wants, all in the name
of freedom and rights. And what is the result? Broken families, children
born outside marriage, (elderly) mothers and fathers who are not looked
after. As some wise men have said, if you want to know the true nature of
these people, go to the prisons and the hospitals and seniors’ homes, for
children do not remember their parents except on holidays and special
occasions.



The point is that among non-Muslims the institution of family
is destroyed. When Islam came it paid a great deal of attention to the
establishment of strong families and protecting them from things that could
harm them, and preserving family ties whilst giving each member of the
family an important role in life.



Islam honoured women, whether as mothers, daughters or
sisters. It honoured women as mothers. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah
(may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah
SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of
Allaah, who among people is most deserving of my good company?” He said,
“Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then
who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your
father.”



(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548)



Islam honours women as daughters. It was narrated from Abu
Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has three daughters or three sisters, or
two daughters or two sisters, and takes good care of them and fears Allaah
with regard to them, will enter Paradise.”



(Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh, 2/190)



And Islam honours women as wives. It was narrated that
‘Aa’ishah said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: “The best of you are those who are best to their wives,
and I am the best of you to my wives.”



(Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 3895).



Islam gave women their rights of inheritance and other
rights. It gave women rights like those of men in many spheres. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women are the twin
halves of men.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan, 236, from the
hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi
Dawood, 216).



Islam encourages men to treat their wives well, and gives
women the freedom to choose their husbands; it gives women much of the
responsibility for raising the children.



Islam gives fathers and mothers a great deal of
responsibility for raising their children. It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah
ibn ‘Umar heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) say, “Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his
flock. The leader is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The man is
the shepherd of his family and he is responsible for his flock. The woman is
the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock.
The servant is a shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his
flock.” He said, I heard this from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him).



(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 853; Muslim, 1829)



Islam paid a great deal attention to implanting the principle
of respect for fathers and mothers, taking care of them and obeying their
commands until death. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):



“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him.
And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them
attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout
at them but address them in terms of honour”



[al-Isra’ 17:23]


Islam protects the honour,
chastity, purity and lineage of the family, so it encourages marriage and
forbids free mixing of men and women.



Islam gives each family member an important role to play. So fathers
and mothers take care of the children and give them an Islamic
upbringing; children are to listen and obey, and respect the rights of
fathers and mothers, on a basis of love and respect. Even our enemies
have borne witness to the strength of family ties among the Muslims.



And Allaah knows best.